4 Effects Separation Has on Your Kids

August 24, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Separation or divorce can be beneficial when things aren’t working out, but your children have to suffer from your decision, too. You will have people along the way to help you out, such as your Fairfield attorneys, but your children don’t have anyone but you and separation can greatly affect them.

 

Stress

Most children become overwhelmed when their parents break up because it is a huge turning point in their life. They have become accustomed to having both parents around and now must adjust to two homes and families.

Anger

Not all children get mad when their parents split up, but many of them do feel anger toward their parents for separating the family. They may not realize why you broke up and cannot completely understand it.

Torn

Not only do the children have to adjust to two different homes, but they are torn between the two parents. Many children become confused as to whose fault it was, why it happened, and who to trust. They also sometimes feel abandoned and afraid that they’ll lose their custodial parent as well.

Guilt

A lot of children think that their parents split up because of them. Although this is not true, they may feel that it’s their fault.

How to Help

The best thing you can do to help your child is to explain to them everything that’s happening. Don’t leave anything out. Sit them down and let them know exactly why you’re splitting up and that it isn’t their fault. Consider their feelings and ask their opinions. If they are still having emotional problems because of this, you may want to have them see a therapist.

Filed Under: Divorce, Parenting Tagged With: , , ,

Effect On Divorce On Your Child ? Ignore This At Your Own Peril

July 11, 2011 by Leave a Comment
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JUNE 07: (FILE PHOTO) Act...

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

Are you thinking of getting a divorce from your spouse? Well, always remember that divorce is legal separation between a husband and wife. However, there is no such concept of divorce between parents. Some people work on the presumption that parents should never get divorced. Well, it is better to get a divorce and keep up friendly relations with your ex-spouse rather than living a stressful and unhappy life with an unsuitable partner.

Your decision to get a divorce will have negative consequences on your child. This is unavoidable. However, your decision to continue in unhappy marriage will also leave a lasting impact on your child. As a parent, you should choose the lesser of the two evils. By getting a divorce, you enjoy the option of having a happy life and maintaining good relations with your ex-partner. The child may take some time to realize this but he or she will quickly see that his or her parents are happy even though they are not together. Handled well, your decision to get a divorce can leave your child with a more mature and sensible outlook towards life.

Do not expect this to take place automatically. You will have to work very hard to make sure that your child does not lose faith in relationships simply because you have opted for a divorce. Be ready to seek help from formal and informal quarters to make sure your family consisting of you, your ex-partner and your child remains happy and united despite the divorce.

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Divorce, Emotional Stress, Family Tagged With: , ,

How to Handle Single Parent Stresses

June 19, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Single parents normally deal with number of stresses regularly. It is very important for the single parents to have a balance between their life and work. Here are few simple tips to overcome the stresses that could happen in the life of the single parent.

My sister and her baby.

Image via Wikipedia

Single parents are mostly only person in a family who has the stress to bring income on time and sometimes money can become tight to handle. The money in-flow is as important as creating security systems in your household to handle all the basic things required for running the family smoothly. For example, due to lack of money at certain times, parents may not be able to get all the things for their school going children and this creates little tension and stress between the parents and their child. This can be handled by the single parents by being open to their children and letting them know about the current economic situation of the family.

Parents can reduce their distance and tension with their children by simply making a routine calls during their busy work and letting them know that they are always for them. Mostly, task overload create a lot of tension among the single parents. They often feel emotionally as well as physically exhausted. Also, youngsters in the family may become very opinionated and more arguments may develop in the family. Single parents can deal this by taking some rests and taking some emotional support from someone around the house.

Sometimes, single parents become very much worried about the child’s changing behavior because of separation. Parents need not have to worry, this actually diminishes over the period of time.

 

Filed Under: Family, Parenting, Stress Tagged With: , ,

Moving After a Divorce

June 10, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Sometimes things between couples just do not work out. It’s not always a pretty sight, and sometimes children in the relationship blame themselves for the separation. However, divorce isn’t a child’s fault and it should be explained to them properly by both parents. Nevertheless, when it does occur, it’s time to be apart and someone has to move. Whether it’s the mommy or daddy, someone eventually leaves the household in order to continue functioning properly.

Looking for a home after a divorce isn’t as hard as it seems. HOA management is a great place to start asking about local homes in the area. Some people after a divorce tend to remain close for the children’s sake, but that’s not always the case. If the divorce wasn’t a smooth one, the partner may move out of state or even out of the country. No matter where they go, there are plenty of resources to help them find a place to live.

Most divorced people move to a duplex or apartment complex for a little while. This is a typical way to transition from being part of a couple to becoming single again. It’s better to find a rental place first instead of buying a house with a long-term contract. Once this person has gained the upper hand of being single again, they either go it alone for a while or start looking into another partnership. Whatever the case may be, finding a home and a new way of life after a divorce does exist.

Filed Under: Divorce, Family Tagged With: , ,

Being A Single Mom

May 25, 2011 by Leave a Comment
My photos that have a creative commons license... 

Image via Wikipedia

Being a single mother can be very difficult and frustrating, but being a mother is one of the greatest gifts anyone can ask for. When you are a single mom, make sure you have friends and family that are there to help you. Even though you are a single mom, you do not have to raise your kids alone. Of course you have to stay home and take care of your kids, but you do need to have some time for yourself as well.

Make sure your kids know that you are the boss. Many children in a home with a single parent may feel like there should be another adult, so they try to step in. Single mothers often need help somewhere along the way. Do not be afraid to ask for help; there are many single parent support groups you can join.

Even though things get hard at times, make sure you are keeping your home structured and comfortable. This will mean having regular meal times, bed times, and a few chores. There are also books that can be very helpful as well. Most single moms need all the help they can get.

Make sure your children know how much you love them. It is ok not to give your child everything he or she wants. Make sure they earn it and you are teaching them responsibility so they can succeed later in life. Remember, you never have to do anything alone. Friends and family will always be there to help.

Filed Under: Family, Parenting Tagged With: , ,

Education After Children — Is It Possible?

May 24, 2011 by Leave a Comment

You may be saying to yourself, “It’s time to earn my degree.” If you have children, the prospect of going to college may seem impossible. After all, your children will need you and you may already be feeling overwhelmed with family and household responsibilities. However, parents go back to school all the time. With careful planning and reaching out to others for a bit of support, you can achieve your goal.

Making Your Education Wish a Reality

You’ve said to yourself, “I’m going to earn my degree.” That is the first step in the right direction. You will need steadfast determination to overcome any challenges that may be involved. Your next step will be to pinpoint exactly what you wish to study. If possible, speak to a career counselor to ensure that you are investing time in a degree that will lead you to a career that is a true fit for you.

Enlist the Support of Others

Reach out to relatives, friends and community members for support. Let them know what you hope to accomplish. You might find that with each person pitching in a little bit, your needs will be covered. Your in-laws may watch the kids while you’re attending college. The kids may be able to attend a free community activity several times a week while you study. Your college may have a job program that allows you to pay for your studies. Your best friend might have suggestions for how to organize your time.

With a bit of determination, planning, and support, you can achieve your educational goals.

 

Filed Under: Family, Parenting Tagged With: , ,

Is Gift Giving During a Divorce OK?

May 18, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Choosing to pursue a divorce is never an easy decision, especially when there are children involved. From worrying about the emotional struggles children with divorced parents face to the financial burden of single working parents, it often seems like there is no end in sight to the difficulties. One of the toughest questions is this: is gift giving during a divorce okay? While each parent will have to make this decision for themselves, there are some guidelines to follow.

First, remember the “Child’s Bill of Rights.” Every child has a right to love both parents. Purchasing expensive gifts solely for the purpose of being the ‘cool’ dad or the ‘fun’ mommy isn’t fair to anyone. Instead, remember that gift giving during a divorce should be done with the interest of the child in mind.

For example, if mom moves into a new home, she may want to consider purchasing her daughter some new American Girl doll clothing or her son some new Matchbox cars to make the move easier. Similarly, dad may want to pick the kids up a special treat for their first overnight with him.

The key is always communications – it is always a good idea to discuss gift giving with your ex, no matter how difficult that may be. In most cases, you can come to a decision together about what is okay and what isn’t.

Emotional struggles during divorces are to be expected and as long as you do not use gift giving as bribes or to ‘buy’ the affection of your children, it can be a positive way to ease the tension.

 

 

Filed Under: Divorce, Parenting Tagged With: ,

Divorcing with Children

May 2, 2011 by Leave a Comment

When two adults decide to end a marriage, there are sometimes unfortunate casualties that come as a result. For example, when a family has children, the children have to bear the brunt of the downside associated with the end of a union. Divorcing when you have children can be a frustrating affair, because no longer are you just splitting up inanimate belongings. Everything that you do, say or think about during a divorce situation is going to affect the child or children in the situation, and so you must keep this in mind.

Dealing with Divorce and Children

When you are planning to divorce your spouse, and there are children involved, there are many specific considerations to make. The children are going to take the event very hard emotionally, and so you must be prepared to keep them in good spirits. You can buy them nice things without necessarily bribing them. Buy Rocawear shirts and other nice things for your son. Buy a princess outfit and a favorite toy for your daughter. This can simply make the entire process a lot easier to stomach for your child.

Make absolute sure that this is what you want before beginning the divorce process. Once you get the ball rolling on a divorce, it is going to be hard for your child. Consider all of your options prior to filing the paperwork, just in case there is a solution available to you that may be better for your entire family instead of dissolving the marriage completely.

Filed Under: Divorce, Emotional Stress, Family Tagged With:

Getting by as a Single Working Mom

April 21, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Whether you’re a single mom by personal choice or forced circumstance, you know there are many challenges that go along with raising your kids.  Single working parents don’t just have to keep their careers on track.  They also have to cope with the emotional struggles that go along with their situation and create a stable and loving environment for their kids.  Here are a few tips to help you out.

Make time for yourself:

It might seem impossible with all of your commitments, but you need to take time out to take care of yourself.  While it’s important to have people at work who understand you, it’s also helpful to make friends from out of the office so you can have some time for a fun break.  More than anything, though, make sure you have time to just be alone.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help:

When you need help, be it for a babysitter or someone to help pitch in with something on the job, it’s important to reach out.  It’s also very important to develop a support network to be there for you to help out with practical things when you don’t have the time to get everything done.  They’ll also be there for you when you’re dealing with emotional struggles.  You’re network can of course include close family and friends, but you should consider reaching out to new people and joining a support group.

Remember you’re not alone:

Single working parents can feel isolated.  But keep in mind that there are many people you can count on that will be there for you when you need someone.

Hold on, kids: it's starting to rain, and we gotta run for home!

Filed Under: Family, Parenting Tagged With: , ,

Emotional Effects of Divorce on Children

April 13, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Divorce is increasing in today’s busy world and the worst sufferers of this divorce are children. Psychological studies reveal that the effects of divorce remain in children for many years and it creates serious impacts on their growth and future. Emotional effect of divorce vary with many factors such as time period of parental conflicts, intimacy between child and the parents before divorce, and parents ability to take care of all the needs of the children after divorce. It is also found that the children from the divorced families are easily attacked with speech problems, asthma, physical injuries, and most importantly with psychological problems.

Children in Jerusalem.

Image via Wikipedia

The emotional effect varies with different age groups of children. Infants never show any differences in their behaviors. Children below 5 years often cry, have nightmares, and even suffer from anxiety problems. Children between 6 to 9 years always complain that they are suffering from some kind of physical illness such as headache and stomach ache. One of the most common problems among children is the low self-esteem.

Teenagers have different problems and show their anger in different ways. Due to divorce, most of the teenagers suffer from drug abuse, lonely feeling, self-destructive behavior, depression, always blaming themselves, vandalism, anxiety, suicidal thoughts,  feeling sad, losing interest in studies or any social activities, avoiding group interactions, always feeling insecure, immaturity or hyper-maturity, violent behavior, and anger. Children will be able to overcome from these effects only with the help of their parents and it is parents’ responsibility to take care of their children with care and warmth even after their divorce.

Filed Under: Divorce, Family Tagged With: , ,
«Older Posts