Family | Caught in the Middle

How to Handle Single Parent Stresses

June 19, 2011 by admin Leave a Comment

Single parents normally deal with number of stresses regularly. It is very important for the single parents to have a balance between their life and work. Here are few simple tips to overcome the stresses that could happen in the life of the single parent.

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Single parents are mostly only person in a family who has the stress to bring income on time and sometimes money can become tight to handle. The money in-flow is as important as creating security systems in your household to handle all the basic things required for running the family smoothly. For example, due to lack of money at certain times, parents may not be able to get all the things for their school going children and this creates little tension and stress between the parents and their child. This can be handled by the single parents by being open to their children and letting them know about the current economic situation of the family.

Parents can reduce their distance and tension with their children by simply making a routine calls during their busy work and letting them know that they are always for them. Mostly, task overload create a lot of tension among the single parents. They often feel emotionally as well as physically exhausted. Also, youngsters in the family may become very opinionated and more arguments may develop in the family. Single parents can deal this by taking some rests and taking some emotional support from someone around the house.

Sometimes, single parents become very much worried about the child’s changing behavior because of separation. Parents need not have to worry, this actually diminishes over the period of time.

Filed Under: Family, Parenting, Stress Tagged With: Family, Parent, Single-parent

Getting by as a Single Working Mom

April 21, 2011 by admin Leave a Comment

Whether you’re a single mom by personal choice or forced circumstance, you know there are many challenges that go along with raising your kids. Single working parents don’t just have to keep their careers on track. They also have to cope with the emotional struggles that go along with their situation and create a stable and loving environment for their kids. Here are a few tips to help you out.

Make time for yourself:

It might seem impossible with all of your commitments, but you need to take time out to take care of yourself. While it’s important to have people at work who understand you, it’s also helpful to make friends from out of the office so you can have some time for a fun break. More than anything, though, make sure you have time to just be alone.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help:

When you need help, be it for a babysitter or someone to help pitch in with something on the job, it’s important to reach out. It’s also very important to develop a support network to be there for you to help out with practical things when you don’t have the time to get everything done. They’ll also be there for you when you’re dealing with emotional struggles. You’re network can of course include close family and friends, but you should consider reaching out to new people and joining a support group.

Remember you’re not alone:

Single working parents can feel isolated. But keep in mind that there are many people you can count on that will be there for you when you need someone.

Hold on, kids: it's starting to rain, and we gotta run for home!

Filed Under: Family, Parenting Tagged With: Family, Single-parent, Support group

Studies Regarding Traditional and Nontraditional Parenting

February 12, 2011 by admin Leave a Comment

Gone are the days when society as a whole believes that every child needs one male parent and one female parent in the home, in order to lead healthy, happy lives. Today, people no longer believe a woman cannot support a family, or that a man cannot handle the duties and responsibilities once exclusively carried out by women.

Unfortunately, there seems to remain a stigma attached to nontraditional parenting, created by those who persist in conducting studies on marriage and parenting. The word nontraditional denotes a negative connotation in itself. The consensus among those who believe these studies are still necessary, is that the ideal environment for raising children is one man and one woman. Continuing to conduct these studies, attaches labels to children brought up families they do not consider traditional.

They arrive at these conclusions in a number of ways. Many fear that the absence of a man in the house may stifle a boy’s masculinity. They also think that girls need a male role model to set standards for the man they will grow up to date and marry.

If one man and one woman is the only combination ideal for good parenting, how do we account for the dysfunction in families with children of one man and one woman? How do we justify children raised by couples that do not include a man and a woman, who graduate in the top of their class, or win sports scholarships to prominent universities?

Bringing children up right has to do with the character of the people who raise them, and not their sex. For every bad mother, there is a bad father. There are also just as many single dads doing a wonderful job of raising children as there are single moms. Additionally, there are scores of happy, success adults that grew up in a two-mom family as well as in a two-dad family.

Filed Under: General, Parenting Tagged With: Child, Family, Parent

Managing Problems in a Blended Family

February 9, 2011 by admin Leave a Comment

Divorcees with children may eventually find themselves ready to move on and remarry. They usually arrive at a place of restored confidence, ready to try marriage again. When one or both parties bring children into a second marriage, problems can occur. Carefully thought out plans can avoid the major problems, and allow them to overlook the small ones.

Set up rules

Parents have their own ideas when it comes to how to discipline or reward their children. They also have their own set of responsibilities they feel their child is capable of handling. The couple planning to join their families together as one, need to know where each one stands on methods of discipline and on what qualifies as an infraction. Through discussions and compromises, they can prepare one another for an essential part of parenting that will prevent skirmishes once the family is living together under one roof.

Ages of the children

Younger children, including babies, toddlers, and middle-aged children have the advantage over pre-teens and adolescents, as they adjust quickly to new settings. Older children will need additional support that both parents can give them. Both parents should talk to the children and ask for their feedback. Parents can do this separately at first, and then together as a family.

Having the children write lists of the pros and cons of a blended family. Once this is completed, encourage the children to participate in a session of problem solving. Have each child come up with ideas for solutions on how to turn a con on the list into a pro.

Marrying and having children can bring with it unexpected consequences and rewards. Blending two families together in marriage can compound problems, but it can also double the rewards, if the adults involve their children in preparing for any issues that may arise, and in helping to resolve them.

Filed Under: Family, Stress Tagged With: Family, Marriage, Parent

New Dad? Why Not Plan a Great Mother’s Day for the New Mom?

February 3, 2011 by admin Leave a Comment

Once a woman has a baby it might seem like all of the stress is over, but she’s really just traded the stress of pregnancy for the stress of motherhood. As a new dad, you’re likely seeing some of that stress and concern in action, and you may be feeling some of it, as well. With Mother’s Day coming up, one of the best things you can do is to help your partner have a relaxing, enjoyable day where she gets to do the kinds of things that she most wants to do. You might want to include the baby in part of the day, then keep watch over the new bundle of joy while mom goes off to do something just for herself, like a massage, a spa day, a manicure, or anything else truly relaxing and fun.

Before she does that, be sure to spend some time with her. You can get a card and sign it from the baby. Maybe breakfast in bed would be a good idea, too. While you’re at it, get her some flowers – hand-picked are better – and let the baby give them to her. You can even look around for baby costumes so you can dress the baby up like a flower or a bee in keeping with the theme. Cute costumes for babies are really popular, and you’ll bring a new mom so much joy by dressing up her precious child and having all of you spend some time together on her special day.

There are plenty of other gifts for Mother’s Day, of course, but the ones that mean the most are often the ones that are the most personal. Those are the kinds of gifts that mothers can really treasure, and the options that they will remember for a long time into the future. You can make some truly special memories on Mother’s Day with a little bit of advance planning.

Filed Under: Family, Parenting Tagged With: Family, Mother, Mother's Day

Divorce Affects the Entire Family

January 8, 2011 by admin Leave a Comment

When parents divorce, each spouse may experience a tremendous amount of emotional stress. If there are children from the marriage, the emotional stress doubles.

Children, as well as the divorced couple, go through a range of emotions. The children may feel afraid, rejected, angry, and even guilty, depending on the age of the child. They do not yet possess the same coping mechanisms as adults do, to understand what is happening, that enables people to accept and move on.
Divorcing parents understand why the marriage fell apart. Understanding it does not make it any less upsetting, but accepting it enables adults to handle it differently than children, because children are egocentric. They believe the world, and more importantly when their parents get a divorce, the home, revolves around them. Therefore, they believe that something they did or said caused the parents’ breakup.
Regardless of the reasons for the divorce, the parent awarded custody of the children, needs to offer emotional support, as well as being there physically. The children will follow the lead of the parent that is still living in the home with them.
It is of the utmost importance for divorced parents to avoid engaging in conversations with their children that paint the other parent as the enemy. This will cause children to believe that the parent also blame the children for the break-up. This also makes the children the pawn for conflicts between the divorced parents.
Divorce is traumatic for children, so parents need to understand what they are going through. Parents need to reassure the children. This must continue after the divorce is final, to ease the transition from children growing up in a two-parent household, to a single parent household.
If parents continue to reassure their children, the children will eventually understand that they had nothing to do with the reason for their parents’ divorce. A number of adults that went through their parents’ divorce as children are better equipped to handle some of life’s problems. This is possible only if they received emotional support from their parents, before, during, and after the divorce.

Filed Under: Divorce, Family Tagged With: Divorce, Family

Helping Children from Divorced Families During the Holidays

December 30, 2010 by admin Leave a Comment

The holidays can be a tough time for children with divorced parents. They may be coping when it comes to everyday life, but they want Christmas to be like it always was in past years. If the parents do not live near each other, the holidays can mean the child will be traveling and spending time with the non-custodial parent as well. There are many feelings the child may be dealing with that you can help address.

The child may feel guilty for leaving mom or dad at Christmas and spending time with their other parent. It is up to you to make them feel good about spending the holidays with the other parent. Explain to them that although you will miss them, that you will be having a nice holiday too, having dinner with a friend or family member or whatever your plans may be.

If your divorce was amicable, maybe you and your ex can bite the bullet and spend the holiday together. But, don’t do this if you feel there is a risk you can’t get along and may fight or argue in front of your children. Your children would love the chance to spend the holidays with both parents, but it is certainly not worth it if they are going to fight or argue all the time.

Don’t forget about the grandparents at Christmas. Just because you have divorced your ex, doesn’t mean that your children divorce their grandparents. This especially important if your former spouse may not be in the picture as much. If your child’s grandparents are good to them and want to spend time with them, you are only hurting your children by not allowing them to spend time together. The holidays are about family, even if your family is a bit different from what is normal.

Filed Under: Divorce, Parenting Tagged With: Christmas, Divorce, Family, Parent

Advice for Parents Going Through Divorce

December 28, 2010 by admin Leave a Comment

When a couple decides to get a divorce, the children may not understand why this is happening. They may wonder why mom and dad would do this and think they are doing it to be mean. It is up to both parents to help the children understand why the divorce is happening and to why it is actually a good thing for their family.

Your children may think that because you are getting divorced that they won’t see their mom or won’t see their dad because that is what happened to a friend of theirs. Assure them that you and your soon to be ex both want to be involved in their lives and that you will both be spending lots of time with them throughout the process and once the divorce is final.

Your children may go through a phase where they want to try and get their parents to stay together or get back together. If you see this in your children you will want to have a discussion with them about why you and your ex broke up and why it would not be for anyone’s best interest for you to get back together. It is perfectly natural for your children to want to see their parents together, but it isn’t a good for them to hold the fantasy that one day everything is just going to magically be all better.

Finally, it is very important for both parents to make sure their children do not hear them talking badly about each other. If they overhear you saying bad things about your ex to your friends they may either start to believe these things, or they may get angry at you. Either scenario is not a good one, and creates extra tensions at a time that is already pretty stressful.

Filed Under: Divorce, Parenting Tagged With: Child, Divorce, Family, Parent

Divorce along with debt can be extremely stressful

December 23, 2010 by admin Leave a Comment

Divorce is definitely another beginning of a new life. You have to take care of many things happening around you but if you are a parent and looking for a divorce, your responsibility is doubled. No matter what is the age of kid, he or she will feel the stress of parents getting separated. You will also be stressful because of your divorce and leading debts and bills associated with that. This is your responsibility to satisfy them by letting them know that all of this divorce and debt is not their fault.

The main stress for kids behind divorce is they are going to loose one of the parents. You must assure them to think positively and your love will for them will never be decreased even after divorce. You might not like your partner and that is why you want a divorce but remember you both are equally important for your kids. Do not say harsh things about your partner in front of your kid; this may hurt your child’s feelings.

The toughest time is to tell your children about your divorce. You will have to choose proper words with empathetic tone. Do not ever lie to them about why you want to get divorce. They have equal rights to know. Give satisfactory answers to all of their questions and make sure they know how much you love them. You must listen to your kid’s feelings too and pay value to them. Bring some fluency in your decisions if you give priority to your kid. Treat your kid’s confusion with patience and remind them that both of you are going to love them in same way even after divorce.

You must help your child to adjust himself according to the change. This can easily be done by providing as much stability and structure as possible in their daily lives. Remember it is not an easy task but not that difficult to be worried about. You can do it with patience and attention.

Filed Under: Divorce Tagged With: Children's Issues, Christian, Divorce, Family, Home, Marriage, Parent, Relationships

Making Time for Family Dinner

December 22, 2010 by admin Leave a Comment

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As a single parent, you have so many things to think about that sometimes meal time gets pushed to the back burner. This is something that many people need to make a priority in their lives. With childhood obesity rates soaring sitting down to a quality family dinner can not only be a great way to bond with your family, it can help them to eat healthier too.

Finding the time to cook a meal can be the hard part. However, there are many great recipes you can make in your slow cooker. When you use a slow cooker you simply add your ingredients first thing in the morning, and then when you get home, dinner is served! Another alternative is making a salad. Many vegetables and toppings are available at the supermarket and you can just throw it together and eat.

If you have to do take out, look beyond pizza and burgers so that you can have a well balanced meal. Many of the popular chain restaurants offer their meals to go, and it’s not as expensive as you may think considering how large the portion sizes tend to be at most places. You can also often order off the children’s menu too. Chinese food can be a healthy choice if you order correctly. Instead of fried rice see if you can get a little steamed rice and vegetables with your meal, and choose to get sauces on the side to save calories.

Once you have the meal taken care of, you will be able to spend time around the table with your family. This is a great time to share what is going on in your lives and learn more about your family. It can be a very enjoyable time for everyone in the family, kids and adults alike.

Filed Under: Family Tagged With: Cooking, Family, Meal, Slow cooker